yuck day

how could i not smile at these two cute faces. after a very sad day, these two beautiful girls have made it bearable. some of you already know, but for those who do not, we learned yesterday that we've lost the baby. i can't believe that i am writing right now...i guess i am just processing through some of this without actually talking to people. i'm not quite ready to do that...please, i hope everyone understands. but i must tell you that i do appreciate (so much) your thoughts, prayers, support and willingness to help out. it means the world to me. i just ask you for time. i've never really had to grieve in this way before....except for losing my dog, but that is in itself different.

ya know, i have thought before, that if something like this did ever happen to me, how would i feel? i never thought i would feel the way i do, that is for sure. i thought i would be more detached from the situation,when in fact it is quite the opposite. whether i was eleven weeks pregnant or thirty, this baby was a part of me, a part of this family and it is a deep loss. ever since i've found out i have not looked down at my belly, but up....up to jesus, because that's where he/she is. and that brings joyful tears to my eyes.

some of you may be wondering, "why the heck is she writing this on a blog site?" i'm not exactly sure either, but it is giving me a chance to share with the people who have been concerned what is going on in my head without actually talking about it. i love you all dearly, and again i am so grateful for you love and support. thank you so much.