they are calling me

yes, the waves...the warm breeze...the soft sand....yes, i hear you calling me. don't worry, i have heard you and i am so happy to say i will be there tomorrow! i am anxious and excited, yet dreading tomorrows travels. so all you prayer peeps...keep us in your prayers. especially little miss mya...it's going to be a VERY LONG day...to say the least. i think we have everything we need ;-) now i just need to crawl into bed for a few hours of sleep before our adventure begins. but before i go i remembered a little conversation the other day that needed to be shared (more for my benefit....so i will remember one day).

i am sure you all remember the year in elementary school when you learned to play the awesome "recorder." i remember thinking to myself, "i am going to learn to play and instrument...and play it well." i remember being so pumped about it, thinking it was so cool...especially the fact that i got my very own instrument. well, i think the euphoria wore off the very first day i tried playing it on my own. it didn't sound so good. needless to say, it was never used again, it just collected dust in my closet.



anyway, the time has come for kylee. she came home so excited, telling me all about the "flute" she was going to learn to play...and that she would get her own. even better than that, she could pick what color it was. all i had to do was write a check. hmmmmmmmm. i quietly laughed, looked at the order form and saw the color choices...blue, green or pink. guess what color kylee wanted? "blue" of course! i read on, seeing that the recorder did not NEED to be purchased, that they would also be available at school for them to use. the thoughts running through my head (get ready it's a run-on).... "we do not need to buy this because she will never play it again, yet we have two more right behind her, but "blue?" the other two are NOT going to want blue, they will want pink....but i remember how excited i was getting my own, maybe we should....hmmmm." okay fine, we agreed to get her one and the blue one at that. we also informed her that it would not always be hers....she would have to pass it down to Alaina and Mya when it was there turn.

"but mom, they can get there own. i am still going to be playing it!"

do you hear me still laughing? this went on and on, until i stopped arguing and let die. so, the other day out of the blue kylee proceeds to tell me that when the other two are done using the recorder, she wants it back. i then proceed to laugh out loud and say, but stop myself, thinking this is too good to be true....the perfect high school graduation present. guess what she is going to get at her graduation party.....you got it, a used (but not too used i can assure you), BLUE recorder....with a big bow ;-) i love it....can't wait to give it back to her!! hopefully i will remember....the likelihood of that happening is slim to none...darn it!!

:9:

you are nine today sweet girl! happy birthday to you ;-) every year i say this, "i can't believe it," but i really can't. you are growing up so fast and i am afraid if i blink you will be off to college! so i will take this day and savior it. so today and for another 365 days you will be nine ;-)

we are so proud of you! this year has brought about even more changes, and with each change i see you growing into the young lady God IS creating you to be. it's pretty awesome. you are smart, genuine, caring and good...and you love to pick on your little sisters. you still love to draw and create, make friendship bracelets (expect for when you mess up...you are just a little bit of a perfectionist....i have no idea where you got that...ha!) and watch movies.

you are a ball full of energy and we love you so much! can't wait to bring you lunch and birthday treats to school. love you, love you, love you!!!!

"nooooooo"

it has finally happened! honestly i cannot believe that it has taken this long. miss mya now says "no." at this very moment it is the cutest "no" ever (just picture my foot is in my mouth as i write this). i know that it will not be very cute in a few days. but right now i can't help but giggle quietly with my hand over my mouth so she can't see.

sitting at dinner tonight, kylee was asking her questions when out of the blue she said, "noooooo" (the "o" emphasized) in the sweetest voice. it caught me off guard, i couldn't help but laugh. you know what happened after that???? we kept asking her questions that she would say "no" to. yes, i know that was really dumb, but we couldn't resist. maybe i will repost in a few days and let everyone know if it is still cute ;-)

it's time to write

look closely at the computer.....





new years resolutions completely down the drain already....awesome! have i blogged, no! have i stopped biting my cuticles....yes, until a week a go (they are not too far gone...yet). arghhhh. honestly though, the past month or so has been just fine, and i am sure i have had plenty to blog about, but i just haven't taken the time to sit down and do it. mainly because when i sit down to blog, i need to SIT DOWN (and focus)...and at the end of the day when i do sit down, i am unable to focus. my brain is mush and i can't seem to remember anything from the day, except that i am tired. maybe i just have adult onset of ADD?? if i don't have a list forget it, and when i do have a list i will end up losing it, or can't remember what i want to put on it....blah, blah, blah! it's an endless cycle...geesh! so how about the weather? hmmmm, actually the weather has been so amazing i barely have words...can you imagine that?

i have looked back at past blogs and see that most of the posts were funny stories of the girls. but now things just seem much more serious and not as funny. sure we have LOADS of funny things happen, but why is it when i want to blog about them, i can't remember...only the serious stuff? or the funny stuff would embarrass my kids so bad that i just can't put it out there for all to hear about....like what mya does when she is in a grocery cart. i can't go into detail because it would scar her for life as it has for me ;-) so i guess i will just start with kid updates and go from there.....

we are on the back stretch of school and everyone seems to be doing well....actually really well. kylee is doing great right now in school. between tutoring (kristen you are awesome), meds and a few things done differently at school (sitting alone for tests) things are really clicking. she is actually enjoying math and we are thrilled! homework time isn't nearly as stressful as it has been...in fact, she even gets it done in the first 15 min of being home. she is even reading more (mainly because she is having trouble falling asleep) and actually enjoying it. so much in fact that is one of the things she wants for her birthday....books! she is just growing up so fast.....they all are.

alaina seems to be doing very well in school. she came home yesterday with a little paper book from school and when i asked her to read it to me she said it wasn't a reading book it was a math booklet. yeah, story problems...in kindergarten! but she knew them. incredible how fast kids pick up stuff....especially tone of voice and attitude! until recently she has been the sweet kid, never talked back or had any "tone" in her voice. but the tide is starting to come in. i honestly think that part of it is a little attention seeking...or just pure frustration. because she is the "middle" she often gets overlooked. i absolutely hate this, but it is a reality. i am just glad we are aware and willing to do something about it. from being a demanding baby, she has become such a independent kid. she makes me laugh everyday! in fact, today while the "little mermaid" (she still loves her princess love stories) was starting she proceeds to tell me, "this is so not real, but the mermaids are!" me: "i am confused." lainey: "mom, mermaids are real you know." me: "oh...okay then." what a cute little goof!

my baby is finally calling me by name...."mama, mama"......all the time! i love it! she is almost 19 mo (almost 20)...and demanding as ever!!! she is all that and a bag of chips. fortunately she is just as cute as cute can be. this morning while i was vacuuming, God gently nudged me to go and check on mya...so i did. i walked into my office (this has become one of her favorite spots) and saw her sitting on top of my desk! this evening alan called me into the office and pointed to my disc drive...asking if it was okay that my compact flash card was sticking out of it. i wish i had a picture of it (and can't believe i didn't see it earlier...i think i was just a little more concerned with her being on top of the desk). she had jammed my compact flash card into the drive....GREAT! i swear i was just around the corner vacuuming for a minute. i am laughing out loud right now because as i look at the picture i took of her on my phone when she was up on the desk....there it is (the flash card), sticking out of the side of my computer. they are so darn quick!

2012

i want to start the year off right with a blog post.....since i wasn't able to finish it with one (i know....slacker). now let's see if i can do this before midnight....ha!

i want to start by saying what a great year 2011! i am truly blessed. let's start with the obvious....a wonderful husband, three amazing girls, great family and friends..a really awesome bible study (love ya girls), of course i could go on and on! these last few months have been exceptionally great (should have blogged about it, huh?) spiritually i am in a place where i haven't been in a very long time, if i can even say that i have been where i am at...did that make sense? i will just say that my daily time in the Word and in prayer has been my most precious time of the day. i have experienced God's peace and joy and presence in such a way that i am overjoyed and busting at the seems excited. His word is alive and alive in me....i am hoping and praying that i can be a reflection of all that i am learning and experiencing.

new years resolutions? be more selfless, loving, kind, PATIENT ;-), love on my kids more, complain less, blog more....and stop biting my cuticles (it's disgusting and it hurts)!!!

so today we start a new year....

kylee has started taking medication to help her sweet brain keep it's focus. since upping the dose a little it has calmed her down a little (though you can tell immediately when it wears off.....she is kind of like a balloon being deflated...the words just come from her mouth 90 miles an hour and she can't sit still) and she seems to be finishing tasks effectively. honestly though, it is hard to tell right now since we are on Christmas break. we have no routine going...and no homework to finish. i will be anxious to see what school will look like in the next few weeks. it was a tough decision for alan and i to go ahead with the medication route. but if it would help her, why wouldn't we try it. she is a sweet girl with a big heart and a wonderful brain....it just works differently...yet, like many others! i just keep praying God will give us wisdom in all of this. it is so easy to get caught up in the challenges that are brought our way....focusing on the negative instead of the positive. i am choosing to switch my focus....i am going to look at our beautiful children with God's eyes (He gave them to me, He lives in me, why shouldn't i use them). He created them, He knows them and everything He makes is wonderfully made! He makes beautiful things...just like that song by gungor (LOVE that song). each one is unique, different strengths, different weaknesses...different spirits, but each one is so wonderful, so beautiful.

i can feel bad for my girls knowing that they have two parents who were oldest children and are very much perfectionist and big KIA's, but i have to stop myself and remember that God gave me (us) all three of three of them. though i don't feel like i will be able to do a good job as their mom, God knows that i can because He is with me. i am willing to be molded into the mother he wants me to be. i need to take a deep breath....and trust.

our sweet little alaina jean, probably feeling a little lost in the middle right now. so much focus has been on the oldest and youngest these past few months...or has it been more like a year...hmmm?? she is our more bendable child...probably because she has too. half way through kindergarten and she is doing so well. i think she is reading like a champ and writing so well. i am very proud of her. she is still likes things that sparkle and loves to mass produce books! not kidding....she will go through an entire ream of paper in two days. we have a lot of teaching ahead of us about conservation!!!!

miss mya actually has a few more hairs on her head....maybe when she is three we can put in piggy tails ;-) sweet thing has everyone wrapped around her finger....probably one of the reasons she is not talking a whole lot. though after her 18 month check up....in which she didn't pass her hearing screen (i am pretty darn sure she has no problem with her hearing) she has actually started saying more things....or at least trying to. so far she says "yesssh (far better than "no"), dada, momma, peaase (please), baby, yanks (thanks), jo jo (our elf on a shelf), ky ky (kylee), ka cker (cracker), papa. She is really trying to say more, it's just a little challenging figuring out how to put all those sounds together. like when she tries to say Bible, it comes out as "bluhhh." it's pretty funny. she really is a smart little thing. she knows what she wants and how to tell you in her own way. one day when she was playing with ohie, it was time to pick up the toys and she didn't want to. when ohie said that they needed to put the toys in the bag mya went over to ohie and pushed her (ohie) with her hand, like, "you go do it." she tried that on me a few days later and i don't think she got the reaction she had wanted ;-) most may give in, but not this mom.....of course i do have to laugh first! i start early in teaching them to help out. we make a mess, we clean it up. unfortunately it hasn't always worked as well as i hoped....at least it has not been initiated independently (with the older kids i mean).

okay, i think i need to stop now. this post has made it very clear to me that i need to post more frequently so that it is not a book every time, but instead of a chapter...or bleep. happy new year to all!!
(side note: i started this post on the 1st and i did not finish this post before midnight....it took two days to finish....sad, very sad!)

this one cracks me up....let's pick on the little one! so fun ;-)





i feel as though i have been in constant prayer the past few months (yesterdays sermon was quite fitting). one of the things i have been persistently praying for (and i will until the day i die) is the girls relationship with the Lord. every morning i can, i have been getting up before everyone else so i can have my one on one time with God. some mornings are easier than others, but when i am up i get excited. i love that time. i love God's word. i love that he meets me where i am at and he speaks to me! all of that joy and excitement have really been stirring in me...which brings me back to the girls. i want to badly for them to one day really realize how great and amazing God is. i want them to experience what i experience every time i sit down and read my bible or pray. he is peace, he is love, he is everything great. it is so true, that when you believe you want to share with others God's good news. i have been a believer for a long time, but right now he is so alive in my life. i want to badly to share that with the girls. something i have really realized is that i am not very good at sharing it with my words...i wish that i was, so i need to share it with my actions. i already know that my actions speak louder than my words most of the time. i look at mya....she is 17mo old and not talking (well, she says "hi" and "dadda"...everything else is "da"), but she knows what is going on. she is watching. she is a little mimic who does everything i do. she cleans, pretends to floss (and use mouthwash), she stretches before we run (even though she is in the stroller...not actually the one running), she paints, she scrubs the toilets. she see's what i am doing. she's not the only one. some of the things that come out of kylee's and alaina's mouth i am like, "whoa, they sound just like me...yikes!" if that doesn't make me stop and reevaluate my actions than i don't know what else would.

not to use this as an excuse, but i am human and i am not very good at slowing down my tongue, or controlling the looks on my face, or my selfish attitude. i want our girls to see God's love in me. i want to be more humble, gentle and patient. i want them to know how much i love God, how much i trust him, how much i want to obey him.....how amazingly good He is, how much he loves them, how much he wants to be the center of their world. i could go on and on...because God's love is endless....it is so wide and long and high and deep, that we will never fully understand, but....we can experience it. an man do i want them to. i want that with every fiber in my being. so each morning....i just pray ;-)

okay....status update (since it has been forever since i have blogged)....

kylee: growing up! as i walked to her classroom for her halloween party i became overwhelmed with the fact that we have a third grader. i remember third grade so well. it just feels like she is climbing up that hill getting closer to puberty (which freaks me out a little....not going to worry, just pray ;-)), she's not a baby anymore. things are just changing...the way she talks and acts, friendships. one thing is for sure, she is still a big tender heart! we are still working on school challenges, but we will get there. she is a smart kid, we just have to keep it focused in the right direction ;-)

alaina: she's not a baby either :-( she seems to enjoy school, but i think she likes coming home in the middle of the day. she is already starting to read...which is so fun to see. i wish i would have blogged earlier because she has said some of the darnedest things lately. i love how funny she is without trying to be funny. the other night we were driving home at night and she asked why the high school wasn't asleep (because there were still lights on). it was much funnier in person!

mya: oh boy! where to start? she is such a funny little thing. like i said earlier, not talking....still only has a few teeth, but man does she have personality. she is still attached to mommy. if anyone even looks like they are going to come near me, she starts running....like, "you can't have her, she's mine! i love her dearly, but she really is a little stinker!! there are so many things i want to write about her, but of course as i sit down to write this...i forget them all...darn it!

i have so much to be thankful for. i wanted to participate in the facebook "thankful for thirty days" or whatever it's called, but i knew i would be a big slacker.....so, i will just sum it up here! i am first and foremost thankful for my God. so very thankful that he loves me, that he is here with me always, takes care of me, provides for me, listens to me, holds me, knows me (and still loves me).....and i don't deserve it, not one bit, but boy am i thankful. i am thankful for His word and how it comes alive. i am thankful for the fire that is burning inside of me, for the desire He gives me to seek him everyday and in all things! i am so thankful for my husband who loves me no matter what, who provides for our family, who helps me with projects around the house (even though i know he doesn't want to do them), for our kids who bring so much life and laughter and joy (and tears and frustration....we love you, we love you....one day you will understand) to our lives. you girls make life so much more colorful! though i do love black and white, i have learned that color is better ;-) i am so, so thankful for our families...what would we do without you?! for my friends, near and far...i am so thankful for what you bring to my life. for the roof over our heads and the food on the table...and the clothes on our backs i am grateful. so many things....maybe i should have participated on facebook? here in a few hours i may be thankful for starbucks ;-) i hope everyone out there has a wonderful thanksgiving filled with the Lord's many blessings!

we did it!

ten years ago.....TEN years ago i married my best friend and long time love! some may say that it is a miracle that we have made it this long....heck, some would ask, how the heck did you even get started? i laugh as i write that because it would be honest to ask that. we started dating sixteen years ago...and dating was not our strong suit, but marriage has been pretty darn good (if i do say so myself). of course we have our ups and downs, but we love each other and are committed 100%. i cannot imagine my life without this man who stands by my side everyday. he is my other half...to quote jerry maguire "you complete me."

i LOVE that we have such an extended history together. it is so fun to reminisce and to see where we have come. several jobs, a couple moves and three kids later here we are!

alan, i know you don't read this, but i will say it anyway....i love you...i am so blessed to share my life with you....to be your wife...the mother of your children...to be your friend. thank you for standing by my side...for loving me through thick and thin, for being a loving father....for being YOU! happy anniversary sweet heart....we did it! (happy dance!!) xoxoxo