:organic:

i know every woman on the planet has had one of those days where you just tear up at every little thing you start to think about. well, today (it actually started last night) is one of those days. yesterday, kylee had her first appointment with the chiropractor...and it went well...i think. he did something that removed all of the food poisons out of her body...and wanted her to remain somewhat "food poison free" for the next 25 hours (what that means in a sense is that he removed a screen, which will hopefully help him go a little deeper to figure out what is causing the problems...does that make sense?? he is taking the puzzle apart so he can put it back together...) which meant we had to go to the store (AGAIN) afterwards to buy ALL "organic" foods. it was already past dinner time and now i had to go the the store and find not only organic food, but dairy free and gluten free foods...and with two hungry kids in tow....need i say more. so, we grab a few things that i think she could eat for the next day or so, get to the car and remembered that i forgot to buy free range chicken to actually cook for dinner (along with organic veggies). i was not going to go back so i decided that kylee would have an organic peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner and the rest of us would have the chicken i had already set out.

we are driving home and i completely loose it, i mean loose it.....tears streaming down my face (i didn't mean too, but i think i scared the crap out of the girls....there was nothing but silence the entire way home)! some may think, well, it's not that bad....and really, it's not, but our plate is just so full of "stuff" right now....and this thing with kylee has been ongoing for two and a half years now....oh, did i remind everyone that i am pregnant!!!! hormones.....not helping;-) but during the drive home, something interesting occurred to me. satan would love nothing better than to get me (us) down, but something i don't think he understands....because he really is a stupid jerk (sorry for being so blunt, but he is), is that instead of pushing me down, he pushes me into the arms of my Father who loves me, my Father who is in control (because I AM NOT!), a Father who cares more about kylee than i ever could.....a Father who wants to be and will be glorified in all of this!!! the chiropractor called (i will be calling him dr. hall from now on) last night....(i even cried to him...what a dork), he gave me a verse to read, Jeremiah 32:27, "I AM the Lord, the God of all the peoples of the world. Is anything to hard for me?" No, there is not and i am going to remember that, i have to.

after dropping lainey off at school today i came home to do a couple of things and then go back to the store and get the stinking free range chicken so we can have an organic dinner tonight...but as usual i had to stop and check my email. after reading one thing, i was set off again....lost it! that stupid jerk is still trying...but instead of believing his lies i cried...i cried out to my God. i think i sat in my rocking chair for an hour and cried, cried out and prayed for everything i could think of. it was actually really nice to be at home all alone and have the time to do that. i think i've been needing that for a while. every woman needs a good cry!! even as i am writing there are tears in my eyes....damn hormones!

i want all of you to know that i am not writing this for anyone to feel sorry for me, maybe to pray for us, but not feel sorry for us. i am writing because i don't want to forget times like these...so i can remember God at work!