WTH?

i am so overwhelmed by emotions right now and i think this morning they got the better of me. when you think of starting a family, you don't necessarily think about how hard it is to raise children...not bad, just HARD! as we are going back to "baby days" we are continuing to enter adolescents as well. while both are challenging in themselves they are so confusing to parents....i guess i shouldn't speak for anyone other than myself. i am having a hard time! miss mya was doing so well, sleeping through the night, starting to take naps....over all happy. then about two weeks ago now she started waking up again in the middle of the night (it has not helped that she CANNOT get her thumb in her mouth...she wants it, but just can't quite release it from her death grip) and the past three or four days she is so over tired that she won't take naps, starts screaming out of no where and is still waking up in the night. everyday i rat my brain trying to figure out what the heck it can be and then i start comparing her to her sisters....and i don't remember them doing this (but i must say that my brain does not work as at remembering things these days). i have come to the conclusion that she is just way over tired. but what do i do about this? even when i try to rock her she screams forever. do i let her cry it out already, she is almost three months, but still not there??? i may be stressed over nothing, but in the midst of it...and other things it IS stressful, especially because i am probably just as tired as she is!

on to the next thing...my poor bug! i shouldn't say "poor" because i know that she will get through this stage...it's just hard to watch (and i know it's just going to get harder). my heart is just aching for her. it is so hard going to a new school and after last year, even harder. i really feel that last year tore down a bit of her confidence. recently we met our neighbors kids (which are both seven) and kylee has played with them just one or two times....but is already afraid to go over and ask to play because the last time she was there, when one of the kiddos had to go inside she asked to play with the other one and he said he didn't want to if the other girl couldn't. that right there just shot a hole in her heart. she is a clayton through and through when it comes to her sensitive side. because when she told me it shot a hole in my heart too. as parents, you, just like they do want everyone to like them....you think, "who wouldn't want to play with my kid, they're great!" but the fact of the matter is, not every one likes one another, not everyone gets along....but when you are "that" person, it hurts just the same. we tried to encourage her, telling her that they have known each other longer and it takes time and effort getting to know someone. we also told her that she has to think about others and what they would like to play, because there is a slight tendency to have a one track mind and to only want to play what she wants to play (i have NO idea who she would get this from). so all i can do is pray and ask God for an abundance of wisdom for alan and i as parents and for her as a young girl and friend.

phew, that feels better! oh, did i mention that as i was writing this i let miss mya cry herself back to sleep and it worked!!! thank you Jesus!

i love my husband, i love my girls and i wouldn't change my life for anything....tis a season and with the Lord on my side we will ALL get through it...for the better!