hard

yesterday was one of those yuck days. it started off fine. the kids were excited because they were going to find out who there teacher was...and of course, who was in there class. after a visit and several text, the kids found out who they had...no real need to even go up to the school. but we still wanted to see who was in who's class. i wasn't worried about alaina because we had already found out that two little friends were in her class (yeah!), but we hadn't heard about kylee. needless to say, we got there, we saw it, we were sad. none of her girlfriends from last year were in her class...the only other girl from her class last year is someone who doesn't mesh well at all with kylee. the look of disappointment on her face...which then turned to anger and a little anxiousness just made me sick. i felt horrible! she wouldn't let me touch her or talk to her, she just wanted to leave. the first thing i did when we got to the car was pray! i prayed that God would give her peace and comfort...and strength to stand strong....to embrace the situation. we left the school and as we were pulling away she asks me if i can call and have her moved to another class. i took a deep breath and swallowed the big lump in my throat and told her that i could not do that. as much as i wanted to say "yes honey, i will call when we get home" i couldn't. i know that there are parents out there who would be on the phone immediately, but i am not that parent when it comes to this. everyday we come across people who are rude, bossy and inconsiderate. how do we learn how to deal difficult people/situations if we are completely removed from them? alan and i both want her to learn how handle situations such as these...stand up for herself, be an affective communicator. but boy is it hard to swallow that and say, "here my little third grader, this is the hand you have been delt right now...we are going to figure this out and pray our way through it." ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

well, it gets better! we go up to the school later last night for the actual meet the teacher night. we get their supplies and head off to meet alaina's teacher. as we are walking up to the room, the grapefruit size lump reaches my throat. my second baby is going to start kindergarten....boo hoo! so, we go in, look around (mind you, alaina has a very firm grip on my hand telling me how nervous she is....awesome!) after spending a little while in there i think she felt a little more comfortable so we decided it was okay to go find kylee's classroom. we head over to the third grade pod....we look, and look, and look and can't find kylee's class. hmmmmmmm, where is it? alan finally finds it down the hall next to the fifth grade pod (not even in a pod, in a classroom off of the hallway). okay. so we go in and meet her teacher (very sweet) and find her desk. we put her things away and look around a minute. the teacher happens to mention that she hears (she is new to the school) that this classroom they are in can either be hot or cold. okay. i stop and talk to the teacher for a minute. she notices that kylee has dairy/gluten allergies, so she tells me that they put the other girls with those allergies in her class as well. okay. we leave, i get out into the hall and i want to cry. why you may ask? it may sound ridiculous to some, but what the heck. were they the left over kids and they didn't know what to do with them. they isolated them from the other third grade classes (and next to fifth graders....nothing wrong with fifth graders, but not necessarily an appropriate place to put third graders), when there is a fourth grade class in the third grade pod???? i don't understand. it also concerns me that they are secluding kids with certain allergies. i understand that it would be easier on the teachers, but we the parents are responsible for our children's allergies....and we teach our kids to be responsible as well. so why can't they be with everyone else.

at the end of last year during conferences, i was excited to hear that they were asked, if they could have anyone on there class with them next year, who would it be? we were told that they were really going to work hard to pair kids together to make things a little more comfortable, and an easier transition. i guess what i should say is that i feel that kylee keeps getting overlooked. what i mean by this is that because she is a "good" kid and pretty easy going (at school) she gets passed over. just like she was her first grade year when we had all that crap going on with all the girls in class being mean and cliquish. she never spoke up, yet she got dragged down...she was overlooked. oh, i don't even know what else to say. i feel that there is so much more....i am so frustrated. she had such a good year last year, she made some really nice friends....i don't want her to endure another year like first grade (yet, in a completely different way). it hurts her and it hurts our family because guess who she takes it all out on....us. not that i wouldn't gladly take it, but it's not fair that she would even have to internalize stuff.

i know i am jumping the gun in saying a lot of this.....i think i just need a place to vent. this year could be a terrific year....that, i am praying for!! God does not give us what we cannot handle. and He has a plan for kylee, plans for her to prosper, not harm her....plans to give her hope and a future. i love that..........

PAUSE.......

i just got off of the phone with the principal (i forgot to mention in the midst of my venting, that i did email her regarding the room situation....not with the intention of having her moved)....we talked and she offered to have kylee moved to another class. God just opened another door! yeah God!!! wow, thank you so much! i feel the weight being lifted. thank you mrs. hite for listening and understanding, it means more than you know. i think i am done now ;-)

PS. the allergy grouping was a complete coincidence.